Love the LORD Your God

²⁶He said to him, "What is written in the Law? How do you read it?" ²⁷And he answered, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself."
²⁸And he said to him, "You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live."
- Luke 10:26-28 English Standard Version -

¹⁵For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. ¹⁶Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. ¹⁷So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. ¹⁸For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. ²⁰Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.
²¹So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. ²²For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, ²³but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. ²⁴Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? ²⁵Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.
- Romans 7:15-25 English Standard Version -

Voices

In the silent hour I can hear them
I pray to the mother
But the mother doesn't love my soul
In the blackened earth lay my secrets
The hounds of hell know everything
At the moon they howl
I cut away, I get away,
I hide away from the light
Still they smell my fear, and they will hunt me like the animal I've been

Cut cut cut a hole in the night
The voices of the innocent are coming to life
Cut cut cut a hole in the night
The voices of the innocent are coming to life

In a graceless world, I was graceless
I'm just a murderer cause murder was my only chance
Though I'm wretched, I am not faithless
The ears of God hear everything
And He hears them still
Every cry, every breath
In every land that have slain
Just to save myself
How can God show mercy? I was merciless to them

Cut cut cut a hole in the night
The voices of the innocent are coming to life
Cut cut cut a hole in the night
The voices of the innocent are coming to life

"Your greatest sin is not the abortion that you've asked forgiveness for, or the adultery, or whatever it is that you did in your life, in the past, that you're ashamed of, that keeps hounding you -- your greatest sin is not that; your greatest sin is not believing God's word when He says that you're forgiven! You wanna' repent of something, friend? Stop repenting of sins you've already repented of, and repent of your unbelief!"

The voices of the innocent are coming to life

"Voices" by House of Heroes

Loved By A Relentless God

I am so thankful that God never lets me go.

In the beginning of the fall semester of my Freshman year I began dating a beautiful young woman. This happened at a time when I had inexplicably ceased to study my bible or pray on a regular basis for several weeks straight. I tried a few times to pick the habit back up, but it never stuck and I spent the rest of the semester exhausting myself mentally, spiritually, and physically. I was not behaving as I should have and I was not walking with God. I remember once weeping in a worship setting and asking God where He was; begging Him to come back to me. It was not until after my girlfriend dumped me a week before the Spring semester began that I realized it was not God who had left me, but I who had left God. The day that my girlfriend dumped me I went out to the prayer garden near my house and got honest with God. I read Psalms 16 and 18 aloud and put all my hope in the God they spoke of.

¹Preserve me, O God, for I take refuge in You.
²I said to the LORD, "You are my Lord;
I have no good besides You."
³As for the saints who are in the earth,
They are the majestic ones in whom is all my delight.
⁴The sorrows of those who have bartered for another god will be multiplied;
I shall not pour out their drink offerings of blood,
Nor will I take their names upon my lips.
⁵The LORD is the portion of my inheritance and my cup;
You support my lot.
⁶The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places;
Indeed, my heritage is beautiful to me.
⁷I will bless the LORD who has counseled me;
Indeed, my mind instructs me in the night.
⁸I have set the LORD continually before me;
Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
⁹Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices;
My flesh also will dwell securely.
¹⁰For You will not abandon my soul to Sheol;
Nor will You allow Your Holy One to undergo decay.
¹¹You will make known to me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.

- Psalm 16 NASB -

¹"I love You, O LORD, my strength."
²The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge;
My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
³I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised,
And I am saved from my enemies.
⁴The cords of death encompassed me,
And the torrents of ungodliness terrified me.
⁵The cords of Sheol surrounded me;
The snares of death confronted me.
⁶In my distress I called upon the LORD,
And cried to my God for help;
He heard my voice out of His temple,
And my cry for help before Him came into His ears.
⁷Then the earth shook and quaked;
And the foundations of the mountains were trembling
And were shaken, because He was angry.
⁸Smoke went up out of His nostrils,
And fire from His mouth devoured;
Coals were kindled by it.
⁹He bowed the heavens also, and came down
With thick darkness under His feet.
¹⁰He rode upon a cherub and flew;
And He sped upon the wings of the wind.
¹¹He made darkness His hiding place, His canopy around Him,
Darkness of waters, thick clouds of the skies.
¹²From the brightness before Him passed His thick clouds,
Hailstones and coals of fire.
¹³The LORD also thundered in the heavens,
And the Most High uttered His voice,
Hailstones and coals of fire.
¹⁴He sent out His arrows, and scattered them,
And lightning flashes in abundance, and routed them.
¹⁵Then the channels of water appeared,
And the foundations of the world were laid bare
At Your rebuke, O LORD,
At the blast of the breath of Your nostrils.
¹⁶He sent from on high, He took me;
He drew me out of many waters.
¹⁷He delivered me from my strong enemy,
And from those who hated me, for they were too mighty for me.
¹⁸They confronted me in the day of my calamity,
But the LORD was my stay.
¹⁹He brought me forth also into a broad place;
He rescued me, because He delighted in me.
²⁰The LORD has rewarded me according to my righteousness;
According to the cleanness of my hands He has recompensed me.
²¹For I have kept the ways of the LORD,
And have not wickedly departed from my God.
²²For all His ordinances were before me,
And I did not put away His statutes from me.
²³I was also blameless with Him,
And I kept myself from my iniquity.
²⁴Therefore the LORD has recompensed me according to my righteousness,
According to the cleanness of my hands in His eyes.
²⁵With the kind You show Yourself kind;
With the blameless You show Yourself blameless;
²⁶With the pure You show Yourself pure,
And with the crooked You show Yourself astute.
²⁷For You save an afflicted people,
But haughty eyes You abase.
²⁸For You light my lamp;
The LORD my God illumines my darkness.
²⁹For by You I can run upon a troop;
And by my God I can leap over a wall.
³⁰As for God, His way is blameless;
The word of the LORD is tried;
He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him.
³¹For who is God, but the LORD?
And who is a rock, except our God,
³²The God who girds me with strength
And makes my way blameless?
³³He makes my feet like hinds' feet,
And sets me upon my high places.
³⁴He trains my hands for battle,
So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
³⁵You have also given me the shield of Your salvation,
And Your right hand upholds me;
And Your gentleness makes me great.
³⁶You enlarge my steps under me,
And my feet have not slipped.
³⁷I pursued my enemies and overtook them,
And I did not turn back until they were consumed.
³⁸I shattered them, so that they were not able to rise;
They fell under my feet.
³⁹For You have girded me with strength for battle;
You have subdued under me those who rose up against me.
⁴⁰You have also made my enemies turn their backs to me,
And I destroyed those who hated me.
⁴¹They cried for help, but there was none to save,
Even to the LORD, but He did not answer them.
⁴²Then I beat them fine as the dust before the wind;
I emptied them out as the mire of the streets.
⁴³You have delivered me from the contentions of the people;
You have placed me as head of the nations;
A people whom I have not known serve me.
⁴⁴As soon as they hear, they obey me;
Foreigners submit to me.
⁴⁵Foreigners fade away,
And come trembling out of their fortresses.
⁴⁶The LORD lives, and blessed be my rock;
And exalted be the God of my salvation,
⁴⁷The God who executes vengeance for me,
And subdues peoples under me.
⁴⁸He delivers me from my enemies;
Surely You lift me above those who rise up against me;
You rescue me from the violent man.
⁴⁹Therefore I will give thanks to You among the nations, O LORD,
And I will sing praises to Your name.
⁵⁰He gives great deliverance to His king,
And shows lovingkindness to His anointed,
To David and his descendants forever.

- Psalm 18 NASB -

I felt pretty low for a while after our breakup. The whole thing was very negative and I felt very much like "a worm and not a man" (Psalm 22:6).

Looking back I can see the way that God allowed me to suffer through that fall semester to learn valuable lessons about life, relationships, and most importantly, myself. What I am truly thankful for, however, is that God did not leave me where I was. He has brought me back to Him and is continuing to work in me to redeem my story. He is so good to me, always.